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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766486">to lie with my hands turned up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenanigans/pseuds/Shenanigans'>Shenanigans</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, Multi, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Sorry guys, and koriand'r being the best possible kind of person, canon can suck it, honestly, jason's inability to let people love him despite needing love, joyfire - Freeform, no beta we die like robins, this is basically about roy's ginormous praise kink, this is porn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:15:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,080</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24766486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenanigans/pseuds/Shenanigans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kori was sitting between Jason's knees while he braided her hair, the slippery curls coiling around his knuckles. It was clumsy at first, but she had shoved into his palms like a cat, warm and demanding as Roy had tucked his pale long boned toes into the crevice of the couch cushions and watched the movie. The apartment was dark, just a long slant of moonlight climbing in the window. In the flickering light of the television Roy was silver and Kori's dark skin seemed a surreal deep burnished blue. Jason was just the boy on the couch, breathing around the way his dick was trying to go hard, interested, against the zipper of his jeans as Kori's fingertips brushed against his calf as she laughed along with the character on screen. He felt her ribs move against his thighs. </p><p>He knew Roy was watching them. He could feel the laser weight of Roy’s focus, the pressure of it tangible on his skin. He wished he could <em>care</em>.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Koriand'r, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>249</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to lie with my hands turned up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title and quote both Sylvia Plath because it's a whole ass mood.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Out of the ash</p><p>I rise with my red hair   </p><p>And I eat men like air.</p><p>-Sylvia Plath</p><p>**</p><p>"You are a fucking <em>bitch</em> and I don't know why I put up with you." The door to Jason’s apartment slams open, wood bouncing slightly off the wall before being stopped with the low thump of a booted toe. He had a moment of panic, pulling a gun and aiming directly at his best friend before glowering at where his alarm system should have alerted him, and dropping to thumb the safety back on. "<em>Seriously</em>. You can't keep moving the spare key."</p><p>"Hello, Roy. How are you, Roy? So nice to see you, Roy." Jason didn't look up from where he was half tucked half sprawled over the end of the couch, thumb in the crease of his book as he read. "So glad you called first and didn't get shot breaking into <em>my</em> fucking apartment, <em>Roy</em>."</p><p>"Jaybird."</p><p>"Where's the nice one? I want the nice one." Jay lifted his eyes, finally making eye contact with Roy Harper where he was leaning a broad shoulder against his wall, arms folded over his chest as he canted his weight and just grinned crookedly at Jason. Roy Harper wasn’t handsome, but he was <em>something</em>. He was a mess, stunning red hair caught back in a high sloppy bun and loud shirt misbuttoned. He looked happy and tired, mussed and sober.</p><p>"She's still picking out peaches from the weird street cart."</p><p>"I've told her those are just store bought and to wait until the farmer's market."</p><p>"She likes the way they feel. You're not going to get her to stop buying all the fruit. I've tried."</p><p>"You look like shit."</p><p>"Pot.” Roy mimed tipping a hat at him before sticking out a broad square palm to where Jason lay sprawled. “Hello, I'm kettle. Nice to meet you. When was the last time you slept?"</p><p>"I sleep."</p><p>Roy pointed at him, dropping off the lean and toeing out of his boots with a hop and a clatter before dropping the army issued duffel on top of them. "That is an evasion not an answer."</p><p>"That's my duffel," Jason muttered, setting the book down with his weapon on top and leaning up to frown at the bag.</p><p>"Irrelevant."</p><p>"I was wondering where that went," Jay muttered, turning a sour look on where Roy palmed the back of the couch and vaulted over lightly, settling into the cushions with a thump and a bounce. He went boneless, head dropped back and eyes closed.</p><p>Roy was pale, but covered in freckles that gave the impression of a ruddy tan. He had fine blonde hair on his arms and golden lashes that glowed in the right light. His left arm was covered in tattoos, fresh ink marking a new section of his forearm. He was in a typical slur of denim and ridiculous hawaiian shirts over obscure band t-shirts. He groaned, forcing himself up and hooked out of his socks, balling them up and throwing them to land precisely next to where the toes of his boots peeked out from under the packed bag. He cracked his toes on the cement floor before tossing himself backwards, feet kicking up onto the coffee table. He sighed.</p><p>"Make yourself at home."</p><p>"I will." Roy cracked an eye, scratching at a darker eyebrow. "I haven't forgotten that you didn't answer. I'm just going to let Kori yell at you."</p><p>"Wha-?"</p><p>"You have about thirty seconds to come clean or I'm tossing you to the wolves."</p><p>There was a brief pause, but Jason wasn't an idiot. "I got three hours."</p><p>"That's not-"</p><p>"It's <em>enough</em>." Jason pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from glowering at his best friend. "Man, whatever happened to the Roy who was all about sex, drugs, rock and roll?"</p><p>"He tried to kill himself. I blame the drugs.” Roy cracked an eye like he was thoughtfully considering what he’d said.  “Maybe the booze, but <em>definitely</em> the drugs."</p><p>"Not funny."</p><p>Roy grinned. "If I can't joke about ODing then you can't defend your ridiculous sleep patterns. You <em>nap</em>. You don't sleep. No wonder you're the grown up equivalent of a cranky toddler."</p><p>The apartment in Jason’s safehouse wasn't huge, just a studio above the empty warehouse fitted with hidden tool shops and a fully loaded mechanic’s garage. Jason Todd had blown into Gotham three years before, set fire to a gangwar, promptly decked the resident Golden Boy, spent a few nights recovering from a stab wound the gremlin child gave him, and slowly made his presence known on Park Row. He liked the life he'd built here. He liked that there was beer in the fridge, a carton of cigarettes in the ice box next to the vodka. He liked the work he did. The pneumatics on the tire wrench zipped and screamed happily and there wasn't a prettier sound in the world than when an engine on a car that seemed doomed purred to life under his touch. </p><p>The warehouse was a simple square building that took up nearly a block with a vaulted ceiling to handle the car lifts, a small cement block office with venetian blinds that was a false front for the real apartment he’d built behind it. He kept it looking shabby, the simple logo that he'd left screened into the glass peeling and patchy. The bay doors rolled up and he enjoyed the quick bounce he'd give to jump and catch the edge to pull them back down before he’d finished installing the security protocols. The cement parking lot had a few cracks, but he viciously weeded them and put his cigarettes out in a bucket of sand. </p><p>The front door was at the top of stairs that he left unoiled, leaning, and a little dangerous, the clatter a secondary alarm system to the one wired into the windows and the doors. If someone managed to slip past the motion sensors, the trip wires, and the other little nuggets of paranoia, he wanted one small unhackable warning. The south wall was a set of giant multi-paned windows that required a crank to open, tilting them out toward the parking lot. </p><p>The space wasn't supposed to be his primary apartment, intended for storage, but Jason made do. He'd hauled the appliances up and installed them himself. He liked the weird vintage pistachio color of his fridge and the stainless steel professional range he'd gotten at auction. They were separated by a white porcelain sink and butcher’s block counters he’d built by hand. The small island that doubled as a kitchen table butted up to the western wall. He left the exposed brick and metal ductwork visible, but he’d simply painted the cinderblock a bright white and then hung with a carefully curated collection of antique swords and knives, his real weaponry folded away and secured behind a false wall. </p><p>It wasn’t a perfect living space. It radiated heat in the summer and went frigid in the winter. </p><p>The space was slowly fleshed out and he'd spent a month building a darkened bedroom that covered over the north wall windows to keep out a decent amount of sun. The rest he blocked with remote operated black out curtains. It was almost enough. The rest of the space was lined with bookshelves and home to a battered navy blue captain's chair, a sleekly modern sofa, and a slim mid century modern coffee table he'd pulled from someone's trash and restored. He was thinking about getting a rug.</p><p>It wasn't much, but it was <em>his</em>.</p><p>"How long are you mine?"</p><p>"Probably about a week. The ship is acting up." Roy was slowly sinking lower in the couch, thighs sprawling out as he hummed. He seemed to settle into Jason’s life like water, spreading and staining all the corners. Roy told him it was because sometimes sleeping in a space that didn’t actually move and couldn’t accidentally fling them across the galaxy was necessary. Jason had installed the clawfoot tub in the small space he’d only thought to build a shower before to make room for them.</p><p>"You just use me for my skills."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"This is where you're supposed to assure me that it's my personality."</p><p>"Have you met your personality?" Roy snorted and dropped a heavy calloused hand to pat Jason's thigh. </p><p>"This is my least favorite conversation ever. Why can't we have motivating talks that inspire me to be a better man?"</p><p>"Because then I would have to admit to liking you and you would never let me live it down."</p><p>"I want the nice one." Jason plucked Roy's hand off his leg and used his shoulder to shove to his feet, snickering when the redhead tipped over with a groan and spread out on the couch, cuddling and wriggling until he was pressed firmly against the back cushions and taking up the entire sitting space. "When was the last time <em>you</em> slept?"</p><p>"Right now. I am <em>currently</em> asleep." Roy yawned widely and Jason sighed, padding to his kitchen to start making dinner for his guests. He'd need to make room in the fridge. He shifted the bread to the left, pausing to pitch a few pints of old chinese takeout. He hoped it was enough space. He never knew how long they were staying. He knew his boundaries.</p><p>He was pulling out a bag of rice for dinner when the alarm chirruped movement. He heard Kori before he saw her, the rich alto pollinating the air with humming as she clattered up the rickety stairs. They ached and complained even as she moved from humming to singing a few spectacular notes and pushed in the now open door. "<em>Jason</em>!"</p><p>Kori Anders was six feet tall in flats and pushing taller in the strappy wedge sandals she was currently wearing. They seemed necessary in her outfit: the vivid purple jumper displaying a stunning amount of smooth dark skin. Jason resolutely pulled his eyes up from her thighs. She was in motion the way smoke was motion, like fire, like sunlight wrapped in a loose knit cream cardigan skimming the hem of the shorts and gold necklace settling a large pendant in her cleavage. She was a landslide of dangerous curves, soft skin, and a smile that shamed sunshine as she pushed her sunglasses up into her riot of wild red curls. Kori was beautiful in a way that was hard to explain beyond heartstopping. </p><p>She dimpled and threw her arms out, a bag of peaches swinging as her bracelets rattled. "<em>Jason</em>. Oh, the peaches smell like <em>summer</em> and I need you to not tell me bad things about them."</p><p>"Hey Kori." Jason tilted his head and let her drop the bag on the island, pulling him into an easy embrace. She tucked her nose against his cheek and smiled into his jaw. He could never explain her perfume past lingering and lovely. Kori Anders hugged like she'd been trained by professionals, an easy pressure that didn't let up until Jason relaxed into it, detangling in inches and breaths. He exhaled a soft half choked sound and she pulled back, cupping his face in her palms and touched their foreheads. </p><p>"I have <em>missed</em> you."</p><p>"Missed you too, Princess." Jason let his hands settle at the swell of her hips, finding through touch that the jumper was backless and letting his fingertips slide against the exquisite warmth of her skin. He knew he was whispering, but it felt terrifying this friendship. </p><p>She kissed him, a soft smile against the corner of his mouth and turned neatly between his palms, reaching to pluck a peach from the bag and nuzzle it lightly. “Roy!”

“He’s asleep.” Jason chucked his chin at where Roy was passed out on the couch. Kori sighed a soft delighted sound and leaned back against him, watching where her boyfriend was puddled in the cushions of the couch, one arm hanging to touch ruddy knuckles to the floor.

Jason tucked his nose against her hair, closing his eyes against the old urge to cross the room and feel for Roy’s breath. He still touched at the other man’s pulse from time to time when no one was looking, checking to make sure he was alive. He needed Roy <em>alive</em>.</p><p>**</p><p>Kori was sitting between Jason's knees while he braided her hair, the slippery curls coiling around his knuckles. It was clumsy at first, but she had shoved into his palms like a cat, warm and demanding as Roy had tucked his pale long boned toes into the crevice of the couch cushions and watched the movie. The apartment was dark, just a long slant of moonlight climbing in the window. In the flickering light of the television Roy was silver and Kori's dark skin seemed a surreal deep burnished blue. Jason was just the boy on the couch, breathing around the way his dick was trying to go hard, interested, against the zipper of his jeans as Kori's fingertips brushed against his calf as she laughed along with the character on screen. He felt her ribs move against his thighs. </p><p>He knew Roy was watching them. He could feel the laser weight of Roy’s focus, the pressure of it tangible on his skin. He wished he could <em>care</em>.</p><p>"You can," Roy said at a pause in the dialogue; his voice  was a rough husky thing like he'd forgotten to swallow first. Jay pretended he didn't hear him, heart sitting high in his chest and he ached. He ached with awareness of the way he'd pushed his fingers into Kori's curls like a question he hadn't meant to ask. He <em>ached</em> and forced his breathing even.</p><p>Kori's head sank against his palm, heavy like a yes he didn't think he could allow himself to understand. He exhaled, shaky and cautious before she leaned back further. She leaned back until she could blink huge glimmering green eyes at him, the inside of her lip so pink and wet, glistening as she let her mouth drop open. He could- he <em>could</em>.</p><p>He was shaking and it scared him: what <em>could be</em>.</p><p>He could turn his palm and slide down the soft curve of her face, along the hot pulse at her neck, further to push into the heat trapped between her skin and her shirt, the collar pulling against his wrist as he skipped a light touch over the hard tip of her nipple. She'd part her lips on his name. She would part her thighs and he'd <em>want</em>. He'd want to pull her up and slip his fingers into her while Roy watched. While Roy simply reached to squeeze the thick line of his own dick in his jeans.</p><p>He got up instead, tucking an apology against her temple and hopped the couch to flee to the kitchen. The light of the refrigerator was like daybreak; it broke the spell of nighttime touch and the promise of intentions left behind. He heard Kori's name in Roy's voice. He heard the wet slick sound of their kisses. He was still close enough that he could look over his shoulder and watch her clamber onto Roy’s lap. He was so close.</p><p>He swallowed and snagged his cigarettes and a beer. “I’ll be back later.”</p><p>He pretended he didn’t hear that his name sounded like disappointment in Roy’s mouth.</p><p>**</p><p>Roy has a handprint on his chest the next morning and breakfast shouldn't feel tense, but Jason can't look away. It's an angry red, sunburned and placed with intention. Jason knows, because most of the time Kory leaves her hands on his back, low just beside the dimples near his spine. She leaves them like cuffs around Roy's wrists. He remembers the way he'd had to turn on an adroit heel on the island when he'd seen the one pressed into the back of Roy's neck.</p><p>Roy wore sex like cologne, lingering and more distinct closer to his skin. </p><p>"Stop it," Roy said, punctuating the command with a quick poke to the line drawn heavy between Jason's brows.</p><p>"Drinking tea? I thought we talked about your death wish." Jason kept his hands on the coffee mug, the ceylon a delicate fragrance as he inhaled. He kept his hands to himself.</p><p>"Thinking," Roy answered, sucking his teeth and plucking the cup from Jason's hands, taking a sip to frown at and then handing it back. "That tastes like shit."</p><p>"Because it's not some triple sugar syrup concoction that has come spurtin’ out of whatever device you've-"</p><p>"That makes it sound gross dude," Roy's face contorted as he mouthed <em>spurting</em> to himself before he started pulling open drawers in Jason's kitchen while also toeing open the lower cabinets. </p><p>"Where's-?"</p><p>"Tools don't belong in kitchens, Harper."</p><p>"Fuck. You moved my shit?"</p><p>"<em>My</em> apartment."</p><p>"<em>My</em> shit. How'm I supposed to-?" His eyes widened in unabashed delight as Jason grunted and pointed at a modified keurig that he'd found and left on the counter a few months ago and hadn't been able to bring himself to leave. "<em>Baby</em>. You got me coffee?"</p><p>"Shut up. You're too fuckin' perky."</p><p>Jason managed to get his hand on Roy's face to stop the incoming hug, shoving him toward the machine and away from where he had been pressing into Jason's space. The other man pouted, chin cupped in Jason's palm and red hair a messy tangle caught back with a wide headband that seemed to almost match his soft cotton pajama pants. "I'll show you perky."</p><p>"Are those my pajamas?"</p><p>"Better than naked, Jaybird."</p><p>"Point."</p><p>"Anyway, Kori's in mine."</p><p>"<em>Jesus</em>."</p><p>"Better than-"</p><p>"<em>Is it</em>?" </p><p>Roy was stroking freckled fingers over the coffee machine and Jason looked away, frowning out over the open living space before starting to head back toward his couch. He had fallen asleep in bed with a book, the pages caught under his face and hair cowlicked.</p><p>He'd fled last night, fled the soft slick sounds of Roy's mouth working against Kori's dark skin. He knew what it looked like, couldn't help but have learned the shape of them together in the close quarters they'd all shared for months. He knew the way Kori's thighs would tighten, the sleek calves shaking as her toes curled, ankle hooked against something with the hint of red hair against her stomach. He knew that her eyes glimmered in the dark, pulling focus as she watched him watch them. The quick dart of her tongue felt like invitation.</p><p>Jason had learned to stop reading into things. He'd always been too tuned to subtext. He blamed the paperbacks lining his shelves. </p><p>He'd always loved telling himself stories.</p><p>Roy was crooning sweetly to the coffee maker as it chugged to life in the kitchen space, telling it dirty pretty things in a low raspy tone that had Jason rolling his eyes. "You still haven't explained why you're here."</p><p>"We missed you."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>Roy straightened to throw Jason an annoyed look. "That's it asshat. We <em>missed you</em> and you don't write, you don't call, you have a tendency to die."</p><p>"Once. You die <em>one time</em>-"</p><p>"And you have never let a single soul you have ever met forget that hey you died that one time and no one loved you and so now you have to cut everyone out of your life like an asshole." Roy kissed the top of the keurig when it beeped completion and plucked the coffee mug that was his unabashed favorite: a cartoon raccoon face surrounded by the text live fast eat trash. "And you wonder why we don't tell you we're coming."</p><p>"Did you just take my inventory? Should I call Waylon?"</p><p>"Telling you things that everyone knows isn't taking your inventory, it's just calling you a bitch with more flourish."</p><p>“And here I was going to let you guys have the bed.”

“<em>Bitch</em>.”</p><p>"Why are we calling Jason a bitch this morning?" Kori asked, padding into the room in a cloud of stunning red hair, long toned thighs, a pair of Jason's boxer briefs, and Roy's faded nearly see through band t-shirt that loved her breasts almost more than Roy did.</p><p>"Other than the usual?" Roy asked, eyes locked on the soft sleepy smile Kori was giving him as she moved closer, letting him hook a pale hand just under the curve of her ass to tug against him with a happy sigh.</p><p>"Yes, this is an obvious statement and I am not awake enough to deal with your usual banter." She nosed at Roy's jaw, fingers touching the red mark on his chest before curling possessively into the waist of his pants.</p><p>"Morning, Princess." Roy kissed her quietly, a soft reverent touch that slipped soft and pink when she sighed and opened her mouth against his tongue.</p><p>Jason looked away quickly, intruding. He managed to mumble, "Mornin'."</p><p>"You taste like caramel," Kori hummed, words muffled and Jason knew without looking that she was talking against Roy's lips.</p><p>"Thank Jaybird."</p><p>"Jason!"</p><p>"Princess!"</p><p>"Come let me thank you!"</p><p>"I'll stay over here where it is safe, thank you."</p><p>"Then I will be forced to come to you." The room's lighting went wild, the point of focus flickering like the roar of campfire flames as the soft crackle and press of heat skated lazily over the floor, pulling the shadows to circle and loom as Kori lifted off the ground, Roy's startled laughter coming recklessly closer. </p><p>"What? No wait-!" The coffee table nearly flipped with the sudden weight of Roy Harper as she deposited the other man with an easy loose of fingers and flopped bonelessly against where Jason was desperately trying to keep his tea from sloshing in a wild acrobatic flail of arm. He had a second to tense, to lean into the urge to struggle and fight before looking over his shoulder and into the wide white smile and stunning frank beauty that was Kori in the mornings. "Hey."</p><p>"Hello." She ducked to press a soft kiss to his shoulder, arms wrapping to hug him tightly before settling comfortably in a sprawl that hitched the shirt she was wearing up over her stomach. She stretched her legs to place her feet in Roy's lap. "We missed you. And now we are here. This is right and good." </p><p>"My coffee table would argue with you."</p><p>"No, it would not, as it is not sentient."</p><p>Roy grinned, crooked tooth making it slippery and feral as he pushed his thumbs dutifully into the arches of Kori's feet. "She's right."</p><p>“Suck up.” Jason set his mug on the cement, the light click his surrender and folded his arms under his head. Kori was a warm weight against him. She moved,  shifting to settle the curve of her head neatly into the small of his back. He closed his eyes, realizing he'd been watching the methodical press and release cording Roy's forearms as he kneaded Kori's heels, letting the soft hum of pleasure slip against his skin like it belonged there.</p><p>Roy's hands weren't soft, hard calluses and rough square palms. They were dry and warm, scratchy and competent. He knew the way Roy would bitch under his breath as he held Jason in place with a hand on his thigh and frowned at the gash across his ribs. </p><p>"It's not that bad," he had said, skin feeling loose and cold as he focused on not throwing up now that the initial adrenaline of the fight was wearing off. He had managed to get his shoulder against the wall, eyes wide behind the mask as he stared at where Roy had turned to look at him, his wide smile breaking right down the center in worry when he watched Jason's knees go out.</p><p>"Not that fuckin' bad he says," Roy muttered, shaking his head even as his fingers had tightened on Jason's thigh. Kori was in the doorway to the med bay, green eyes concerned. She'd carried him, her flight a fast burn that left a vapor trail that left Roy's pale cheeks flushed and wind burned. "Not that fuckin' bad, just a little gun shot that could, you know, have fucking killed me if I had been just two inches to the left. No, it's cool. It's<em> fine</em>. You're perfectly okay, right?" Roy's eyes had flicked to his, the green vivid against the anger of his eyelids, the blotchy red on his cheeks. "Just a <em>little</em> dead. It's cool. No one will care. Stop fucking moving you <em>unmitigated</em> asshole."</p><p>"That's a big word, Harper."</p><p>"Rubbing off on me." Roy swallowed and Jason wanted to. He wanted to tangle his fingers in the mess of red hair and tug, rubbing against the thick pink ropey scars on his hip. Jason <em>wanted to</em>.</p><p>"<em>Roy</em>."</p><p>He knew Roy’s scars were there because they left the door open. He knew that Roy had scars on his thighs, lining the inside of his forearm from botched bow draws, against his ribs and Kori's fingers could notch behind the row of his bottom teeth as she moved, eyes on Roy's face as she fucked down against him like the insistent press of water against stone. He knew because he'd stood, transfixed and aching, pained and lonely as Roy touched the tip of one breast with prayerful fingers before getting one pale leg over the edge of the bed to press a long freckled foot to the floor and shove.</p><p>He knew because they left the door open.</p><p>"You can," Kori had sighed against his jaw one night while they watched a ridiculous movie with over the top slobbering aliens and wild shoot-outs that Roy had picked. He'd been watching Roy in the flickering light of the television as Kori had slowly wormed her way behind him, letting him puddle like an accident against her. She'd been combing her fingers through his hair, thumbing the weight of it from his brow. </p><p>Jason hadn't known he'd needed that touch until it was gone. He'd stood quickly, panicked as he stumbled over the tangle of Roy's long legs and the mess of machinery in a small pile around him and hopped awkwardly through a quick apology, waving a phone at them in silent explanation. He used to be better at lying.</p><p>Now, sprawled face down on the couch, Jason closed his eyes and let the warmth of Kori's skin tangle between his legs, the tops of his feet perched on the far armrest. He sighed, letting himself relax into the exhale and unspool an arm. He let his knuckles brush the floor, let Roy spread his thighs, relaxing into a sprawl on the coffee table, and let his fingers curl around his bare ankle.</p><p>"I missed you too, I guess."</p><p>**</p><p>Roy would always find him on the roof in the early morning before Jason could crawl through the hatch and out of his clothes. Roy was a rumpled slur of pale skin and bruises, red hair, and vague concern hidden behind a smile that was almost bright enough to hide the sadness it swam over. Roy would find him, the red helmet cracked open, hair sticky with sweat and pressed tight around his head, awkward wet bird spikes in the front as he smoked around bloody bruised knuckles. </p><p>"Those'll kill you," Roy would say, plucking the cigarette from his mouth, puffing the bit of ash from the cherry with a quick thoughtless breath, before pinching it like a joint and taking a hit, eyes closed. He'd exhale, face wrinkling up at the taste before setting his thumb against Jason's lips and returning it.</p><p>"So will superheroing," Jason would reply by rote, words gummy around the cigarette in his mouth, gummy around the low drowsy arousal that simmered under his skin.</p><p>Roy would suck on his teeth and exhale. This was their routine. This was their pattern. If Jason waited long enough, Roy would let go enough that they could be honest.</p><p>"I had a dream that I drank again," he said after a long moment, tapping the toe of his boot against the parapet in time with each syllable. Roy made his pain sound like poetry when he gave it a beat. He was hiding behind the curtain of his hair and Jason wanted to pull it back and see the man behind it. "It was stupid, like, I was on a plane and there was a glass of white wine on the floor between my feet. I hate white wine."</p><p>"Snob."</p><p>Roy snorted a laugh and shook his head. "Really not. More of a drink the well dump bucket in a blackout, but go off." He shrugged, wetting his lips and Jason wanted to put a mask on him, hide the emotion there. "It was like, I knew I would get away with it and it was just <em>talking</em> to me. I didn't want to get fucked up, Jay. I just... I wanted it. I wanted to take the edge off. I wanted to be sneaky."</p><p>"You do the thing?"</p><p>"Yeah, I did a spot check, bro. It's why we're here."</p><p>"I thought you missed me."</p><p>Roy turned and caught Jason's eyes, face glowing in the soft everpresent haze that slogged through the Gotham mornings. The warehouse was close to the docks, close to the one exposed elbow of Gotham that would point sharp into a flat annoyed ocean. Jason didn't look away, he couldn't when Roy looked open like a gutshot. This was <em>his</em> Roy. This was the Roy that had let him chew him up and grind him under his boot when the pit rages flared green and ugly. This was <em>his</em>.</p><p>Roy handed it to him like it was something that was worth throwing away. He handed it to him like he was used to being handed back.</p><p>"Why <em>the fuck</em> do you think we're here, Jaybird? Seriously?"</p><p>Jason opened his mouth but couldn't push the words out of his chest. He opened his mouth, plucking the cigarette and exhaling smoke. He opened his mouth. </p><p>"Jesus, you are..." Roy scrubbed a hand back through his hair, yanking at it with a snarl before letting his gaze zero in and focus completely on Jason in the fuzzy predawn that was picking them out in edges and hints of color. </p><p>The moment changed. The moment <em>changed</em> and Jason heard his breath catch. "Roy?"</p><p>It happened in seconds stretched out between them, the awful reality of an arrow trapped in zeno's paradox. Roy would have to cross half the distance between them. He would have to cross half of that half. He would have to cross half of that half of that half-</p><p>And Roy kissed him, surging forward with a groan of his name and Jason had never really understood why the arrow couldn't just go from point A to point B. It was already in motion. Roy's hot hard palms were against his jaw, framing his face as the hard callused tips of his fingers curled at the edge of his hair. Roy kissed him like it was the only thing he'd ever wanted to do. Roy lived in a moment, a breathless panicked moment of potential and teeth, of lips and the soft stroke of tongue.</p><p>Roy kissed him like Jason was <em>important</em> and <em>necessary</em>.  He kissed him like it was the question they hadn't ever let themselves ask. Not out loud. Not with words.</p><p>Jason had seen Roy disarm a bomb that could have vaporized an entire city, burn it to ash and glass without shaking. He knew how steady the other man was. He knew the impossible strength that curved in his arms, pulled taut to loose the wild chaotic joy of Roy into the world. Jason had seen Roy stare down the gallows, stare down death with a wry grin.</p><p>He'd never seen Roy shake until he heard his name groaned in desperate plea against his breath.</p><p>Roy broke it off, ragged breaths breaking against the soft swollen heat of Jason's mouth. Roy ground their foreheads together, watching him up close. "<em>Believe</em> me."</p><p>The warehouse didn't have any answers as Jason reeled. The Gotham dawn continued to brighten, undaunted. The roof stayed stable and Jason swallowed, fingers still tight on the cigarette burning to the filter in grip. He felt the way it was going hot, melting a little as his knuckles tensed. The scent of it was going sharp, chemical. "What about-?"</p><p>Roy rolled his eyes like Jason was being particularly dense, jaw going tight and Jason wanted to set his teeth on the muscle that flickered there, the staccato need it represented. "Jason," he whispered, voice low and rough. Jason's mouth dropped open on a sweet throb that shuddered through him with his breath. He choked through a wild noise when Roy's thumb chased it, slipping against his bottom lip, tucking the tease of salt skin against his teeth. Jason was shivering, teeth chattering and calves bunching tight. "<em>We</em> missed <em>you</em>."</p><p>**</p><p>It happens like this: Roy's hand is hot in his as he pulls Jason into the soft dark of his own bedroom. Roy's hand is hot on the side of his neck as he shuts the door behind them. Roy's hand is in his hair, but Kori's hands are <em>hotter</em> when she slips behind him, tucking her fingers into the lapel of his leather jacket and peeling him out of its weight.</p><p>Jason isn't sure where to put his hands. Jason isn't sure if he's supposed to focus on Kori's mouth where she's smiling soft compliments into the nape of his neck or where Roy was pushing his own hand under the waist of borrowed pajama pants. He isn't sure how long Roy has been kissing him.</p><p>It's like this: the curtains are drawn, closing them into a soft black space of warm skin and moans. Jason is touched and turned, dizzy with the tangle of hands, the feel of mouths on him. Jason is shaking, stunned by the sheer weight of this need pulled screaming into the space under his ribs. He's aching in his jeans, a hot heavy line against the zipper. He knows when it's Roy's hand that squeezes him. He knows when it's Kori's fingers skinning him out of the sweat damp shirt.</p><p>It's like this: he lets himself want. He lets himself want <em>this</em> when Kori reaches past him to tuck two fingers into Roy's mouth, whispering against Jason's ear to watch, to see how beautiful it is, to tell him how perfect he looks. Jason does and Roy makes a noise that has him pulsing precome around a strangled moan that matches.</p><p>It's like this: Jason can only stare when Roy drops to his knees like he couldn't fight gravity, fight the weight of the need in the room. He can only stare, panting a soft heartfelt yes when Roy asks for permission against the button on his jeans. He pants yes when Kori presses against his naked back, nipples pricking against his skin as she works his jeans open for Roy. He can only say yes to this. He can only say yes to them.</p><p>"Fuck," Roy breathes, voice low and words wet like his mouth is watering, like he's swallowing before he can even feel the slip of Jay's dick against his jaw. "Jay, <em>fuck</em>," Roy manages when Jason's hips flex without his permission, smearing him against Roy's jaw, against the pale freckled skin of his cheek. </p><p>He's whining, a low needy noise that rumbles in his chest and Jason can't bring himself to care, not when Roy opens his mouth. He can't care because Kori is pulling his hands to tangle in Roy's red hair, the strands curling over his knuckles as Roy looks up and goes down. "Oh <em>fuck</em>."</p><p>"He looks so beautiful like this," Kori whispers, voice warm and full of a welling love that spills down Jason's chest. "He's so <em>good</em> isn't he? Tell him." Jason can't look away from where Kori's dark fingers are touching the pink stretch of Roy's lips around him. "So willing."</p><p>"Roy, <em>Jesus</em>, Roy. You... your <em>mouth</em>." Jason wanted to be better at this, better at sex and need, but Roy's mouth is wet and slick and tight and his tongue swirls over him and he <em>can't</em>, he can't focus. </p><p>All he can do is fuck into the wet perfect feel of Roy sucking him off. He knows it could be better, but his jeans are puddled at his ankles, Roy's hot hard hands at the back of his thighs like he's pleading. Roy's making noises around his dick and flushing in the dark.</p><p>"He thinks about you fucking him," Kori whispers against Jason's ear and it's the kind of statement that sears sharp into his brain. He thinks about the handprint on the back of Roy's neck, thinks about his hand there, the way Roy's eyes would close, mouth open, noising mindless and slick with sweat while Jason fucked him. He can't stop the image of Roy's body opening to him, the bright frenzied pink of Roy's dick hard against his stomach, a swollen desperate need that pulsed against the sheets as Jason leaned back to watch himself <em>move</em> in Roy.</p><p>Roy chokes when Jason comes, without warning, without wanting to, without much beyond a breathless strangled sound and a shake of his thighs as he curled forward. It's like a gutpunch, slamming and angling around him to the sound of Kori's delighted noise and the vivid realization that Roy's shoulders are shaking as he fucks his own fist while Jason had been fucking his mouth. He clutches Roy's hair, shoving deeper, instinct and need before stilling, a soft needy sound that bleeds into Roy's name.</p><p>Roy leans back, wipes his mouth with the back of his wrist and reaches to touch shaking fingers to Jason's jaw. "Jay," he starts, voice wrecked and Jason did that, fucked that voice rough. He grits his teeth through an aftershock of desire and Roy smiles, hopelessly fond and strokes his thumb over Jason's mouth. "<em>Baby,</em> you were so good."</p><p>Jason is shaking, wanting to believe him as they work together, a team that touches him onto the bed. They touch him with hot hands, kissing in loose lingering moments as Kory wriggles out of her panties. They touch him until he's propped against the headboard and Kori is settled back against him, thighs spread and Roy making heartfelt noises as he pushes his face against the impossible wet heat of her. Jason is shaking as he touches the weighted curve of her breasts, tracing the crease under the belling smooth skin and curious at the way she arched, pushing her nipples into his fingers. He doesn't pinch, just stroked over them until she's twisting, twisting and mewling with Roy's head tight between her thighs. She goes hotter, impossible heat that flickers and glows in this dark, in their dark, and Jason feels her brand his wrists as she opens her mouth and comes with a noise like music.</p><p>It feels impossible to be this turned on. It feels impossible to be this turned around and aching, stunned and overwrought with it, but Roy is licking Kori off his lips and leaning to kiss her, to turn as she turns to kiss <em>him</em>. Jason clutches at Kori's thighs and watches over her shoulder as Roy snarls, sex and the cut of his hips, the jut of his dick. He watches Roy press at the base of himself with a thumb, tongue obscene against his top lip as he looks up through pale lashes and teases his way <em>inside</em> Kori.</p><p>Kori breathes his name like smoke and Jason can taste her on his lips, taste Roy on his tongue and he's drowning. He watches Roy reach past him to grab the headboard, shift his knees wider, and sink deep. He watches Roy fuck and it's...</p><p>"Perfect."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Fuck, you feel... just. Let me. Let me in, Princess, please. Let me." Roy is muttering, snarling words that pepper Jason's skin. He can feel how <em>wet</em> she is, can feel it against his skin as Roy fucks her against him. "So fucking beautiful. Move, move just a little. Yes, oh, that's perfect. So hot. <em>God</em>, so <em>hot</em>. So <em>tight</em>."</p><p>Jason has a dizzying moment of wanting to <em>open</em> for Roy, to hear his voice against his ear. He has a dizzying moment of wanting to feel Kori move on <em>him</em>.</p><p>The room is littered with their clothes, the sheets tangled in quick snapped bunches under them, and Jason wants. Jason wants this. He wants them. He needs them. He's hard and panicked with the realization, wanting to lose himself in their skin, their touches, the matched set of desire that's squirming in a brutal steady rhythm of soft lingering moans. Kory is burning, skin sizzling. He can see the way Roy is slick with sweat, shiny as his whole body moves in sex. He's not still. He's not careless and selfish with himself. He leans all of who he is into making Kori feel wanted. </p><p>He fucks like he's taking back something that was stolen from him. He fucks like he can crawl inside them and curl up at home. He mutters through it, gritting out a long filthy litany of want and praise that flushes Jason, that has Kory pushing Jason's hands lower to slip through the sex, smear it over his fingerprints and then deeper to feel how hard Roy was where he fucked her. Roy's eyes went wild, locking on Jason's over her shoulder. Kori's eyes were closed, lost in the breaking waves of pleasure that kept her trembling, noising mindlessly around a wondering smile.</p><p>"Touch her, Jay."</p><p>"I don-"</p><p>"<em>Touch her</em>," Roy's breath went low and hot as he leaned forward to catch Jason's mouth in his; his hips were relentless. "Feel how hot she is, she gets so wet. I can feel her slicking my fucking thighs, Jay. She wants it. She wants you." Kori made a high noise that stretched and ached and Roy smiled against Jason's mouth. "Like that, right there. Yes, just, rub, just rub and she'll shake apart under your fingers. Wait until you taste her, Jaybird. Wait until she's writhing against your mouth and you can feel her wet break on your tongue. She wants you next. She told me. You want it?"</p><p>Jason could only nod, humping stupidly against the heat of Kori's body against his front. He felt like a teenager, come stupid and desperately jerking off in the bathroom. He felt consumed.</p><p>"I want to...?" Roy's voice went low, lurid and deep as he bit at Jason's mouth, flushed and shivering. "Jay?"</p><p>"<em>Anything</em>," Jason breathed. He meant <em>everything</em>.</p><p>"Fuck." </p><p>The room spun and Jason could only hold on to the bodies around him. He couldn't catch his breath. He couldn't focus. Kori's body resplendent and glowing in the dark, the impossible glimmer of her eyes, the perfect weight of her breasts. He couldn't find his center, caught as Roy pulled him down the bed by his ankles, standing at the end and watching with dark eyes as Kori straddled Jason's hips, both delicate burning hands on his dick as she rubbed him against her. She felt swollen, wet, molten and Jason stared up at her as she rocked her hips once and he was pushing into her with a full body shudder of want.</p><p>He watched her shiver, both hands settling against his stomach as her head rolled back. She sighed, content before leaning forward to kiss him softly. "This," she breathed against his mouth, humming as her body tensed around him, as he settled his hands on her hips. It was necessary, the feel of her where she was soft, where the insistent muscle and power of her body swelled under his palms, skin dimpling against the press of his fingers. "You with us."</p><p>Jason could only watch as she started to roll, liquid and hot, a sensual shift of hips that allowed him deeper. He was moving in her.  He could feel the drag of her breasts against his chest, the tickle of her hair where it swung in counterpoint to the rhythm she set. He could feel her nails cutting perfect half moons into his chest and let himself sink into the heady ache. Everything was tense, welling to shake just almost close enough to something he couldn't quite vocalize. She smiled against his mouth before leaning back, stretching and evocative as she fucked down onto him.</p><p>"Roy," she murmured, almost a moan as he moved to cup her face and kiss her. Roy stroked himself at the edge of the bed, whole body a tense and wanton line of muscle and ink in the dark. Jason reached out before he knew what he was doing to press his fingers to the edge of Roy's tattoo, tracing the line of his pec to the pebbled pink nipple. Jason wanted. </p><p>Roy shifted again, sliding closer to the head of the bed and Jason could almost feel the way his throat worked as he swallowed. He managed a short sharp burst of breath through his nose when Roy let go of his own dick to touch sticky fingers to his mouth. "Jay. Let me?" </p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Oh," Roy breathed, moving forward in a quick jerk, the bed rocking as he got a knee up onto the mattress and leaned his hips forward. Jason's jaw clenched at the first slippery touch, precome painting over his lips as Roy drug the head of his cock back and forth, eyes black and pupils blown at the sight.</p><p>Jason opened his mouth, touching his tongue curiously and the noise that rolled out of him at the taste was obscene against the wet slick sound of sex. Roy bit his bottom lip and pushed his dick in a curious controlled shift over Jason's tongue.</p><p>"Gonna be so good," Roy whispered, fucking in soft slow pushes as Jason's mouth opened more. "That's it, that's it. <em>Fuck</em>. Baby, your mouth is fucking perfect. Just like that, <em>Jaybird</em>. So fucking good for me. Fuck, look at you <em>letting</em> me. Fuck, I <em>wanted</em> but... fuck. Little more, can you do it? Can you <em>do</em> that for me?"</p><p>It's like this: Roy is fucking his mouth while Kori rides him and Jason is lost in it, lost in them. It's sticky and warm and it curls up around his heart, pushing until his breath is tight and he's too full. He's so full and it's not like anything he'd ever thought and he has to close his eyes. Jason has to look away because Roy's hips have freckles on them and the line of hair under his navel is a dark vivid red. He can smell them, the wet tang sex and musk of it all. He wants to shake apart, wants to sink low and exist here in this wanton mindless place where they love him.</p><p>It's like this: when he comes, he's <em>allowed</em>.</p><p>**</p><p>Jason is awake for fifteen minutes, caught between Roy's front against his back and Kory draped liquid against his front. He is breathing her hair, caught against the warm sleep slow puffs of Roy's breath against his neck. The sheet pulled off the corner of the mattress and the rougher silky polyester covering is cold against his bare ankle. He didn't need the sheet tangled around their hips, stringing them like beads to catch close in the hazy half light. He didn’t need the sheet coated with skin and tangled legs. He can feel Kori's sex against his thigh and Roy's burgeoning morning wood nudging against his balls.</p><p>He thinks about moving, about carefully detangling the hands on his hip and the weight of Roy's corded arm tossed over his waist. He thinks about it.</p><p>"Stop." Roy presses a soft mouthed kiss to the back of his neck, arm tightening to pull him back against him as his hips shift restlessly, asleep but aware. "<em>Please</em>."</p><p>Jason stills, the light of late afternoon glowing around the edges of the black out curtains in his bedroom, the far off noise of heavy machinery working on the docks. Jason stills and forces himself to relax even as Kori's fingers curl and pet him soothingly, nestling closer to press her mouth to his collarbone in sleep.</p><p>"This is okay, Jay. You're allowed."</p><p>Jason believes him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I cling to comments like I could rub them between my fingers, testing their softness with a happy sigh.</p><p>Also, I have a <a href="http://irolltwenties.tumblr.com">tumblr</a>. Someone, anyone, please, come yell with me about DC?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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